Washington, D.C. is so close to Baltimore, yet I’ve rarely been there by myself. The urge was overpowering on a recent sunny Sunday in October when I had no other responsibilities. I’m working on a writing project which needs blocks of uninterrupted time. I also need thinking time while moving. I always carry at least a small notebook and pen in case I have a good idea. Walks in the woods are often fruitful. This time I could have stayed in my study to write, but the pull of Washington got the better of me.
What is it about writing that draws me? I’ve had the urge since I could barely draw block letters. Yet I haven’t written seriously for most of my life. There is something about having a voice and taking the time to articulate something that matters. And to me, right now, I find a lot that matters. I am willing to stretch myself in the discovery and develop skills.
One thing that is key to my message is that as elders, we can expand ourselves in ways we haven’t before, or at least in a long time. In our culture where elders are often invisible, we may feel that we are on our way to pasture. Yet this trend is shifting. We baby boomers are plentiful and we have a lot to say about each developmental stage we enter.
So here I am, a baby boomer with bad knees, walking around D.C. I end up at the National Portrait Gallery. I visit Barak and Michelle Obama, in separate areas. He gets to be with the other presidents. She is near Toni Morrison and Russell Means, a native American man who agreed to be painted if he could wrap the American flag around himself upside down—a subtle message. I appreciate his dignified demeanor near Toni and Michelle. How interesting it must be in that room in off hours.
By the time I reach the courtyard, get a snack and pull out my notebook, I am grateful to sit. This is a large covered area with a two story ceiling giving a sense of expansiveness. People chat at tables spread out, but it is pretty quiet. The time in the car and walking around helped me pull my thoughts together. The courtyard provides respite and now I’m challenged to look again at my notes.
Back home at my desk, I write out the whole thing, moving sentences and paragraphs, taking the time to align words and thoughts. This is the detail for which I often lose patience. I pause and look up. What is the thrust of what I want to share? The time to refine what I’m saying challenges me to look again. This is discovery in action. This is splinters of truth that elude and then appear. I know what I want to say yet I discover so much more in the saying. One more step in a long and challenging journey through my own dark wood.